Wednesday, September 21, 2011

craziness...let's bask in it.

Written on October 16, 2009

It's almost close to a month since my last update, and things have been a nonstop craziness since then. Everything's just coming up in really weird timing and I just don't know what to do with myself; to be honest, I'm at my lowest point, and I'm not liking my current position one bit. If I were a weaker person, I'd be out on a Virginia Tech rampage, just straight shooting motherfucks. Of course, it'll be dubbed the Cal State rampage (and you thought it's always sunny in California).

So, so close. But I'm not like that. I'm too sane in my insanity to pull a massacre like that.

School especially has been driving me up the wall, and confidence in my procrastination isn't really helping my situation either. Being an English major joke. I mean, I always had an idea of how hard it would be, but goddamn. My insomnia, which has been nearly overcome during the summer, has come back with a rage. Pretty soon, I'm going to look like a vampire with red-rimmed, baggy eyes with dark circles under them.

Family's...not that great. Insanity is hitting everyone as I'm typing this right now. I don't know what's worse... Shit hitting the fan, or me shrugging nonchalantly as voices and tension are rising higher in the next room. It's all fucked up.

Friends...well, human relationships in general aren't always easy. But I'm grateful for the people in my life, and this issue is the lightest of issues in my life right now, lol.

In retrospect, as much I say that I hate drama...I'm actually glad that shit hits the fan every once in a while. It makes you appreciate the good moments even more so than ever.

I guess...I don't know. I need go to out and clear my head. I'm gonna try my best to avoid cigarettes, 'cause we all know that I've been smoking one too many of those.


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