Thursday, April 19, 2012

restlessness

I'm feeling a little restless as of late, like I'm in need of a change of pace, scene, something. I don't know about the rest of you but I feel a bit horrible when I find that the days of my life have settled into a nice little routine. It's almost like I'm drowning. Yes, like lovely Betty Draper says, "only boring people are bored," but I'm not a boring person. I just need...constant change.

It's a funny thing, how I feel restricted by my own life, but it's the way I am I guess. Nomadic. I don't have any problem being detached, makes for an easier farewell in travel (I was known to just up and leave without telling anyone and then come back as if nothing happened). I kind of miss those days.

Now, I'm tied to a number to things (relationships, school, work, etc) so I can't just...disappear without notice. Although, I really want to. Maybe I'm feeling worse because I know I can't just up and leave. For a number of reasons.

Can you guys tell that even my thoughts are clipped?

I guess the next best thing is to change what I can. Like my hair (but I need to grow it out to donate). Or my wardrobe (but I fucking loathe shopping). Or going on a trip (but I gotta go to school and work). Do I sound like I'm complaining? Because I'm not. But, I do kind of resent my responsibilities and (gasp) attachments here. Just a little.

And I'm really considering abandoning this here Blogger and just importing everything back to my Tumblr account and just keeping that. However, I do love Blogger for its simplicity. And just HOW many times did I change the layout of this page in this one week alone? Too many to count.

I just want to spend some time in a place where I don't know anyone. It would make it even lovelier if I didn't understand a word of what they were saying to me as well.

Yeah dude. I feel like I'm driving myself absolutely crazy. I seriously need to stop repressing shit.

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