I've been very silent lately, using my time to rearrange a few things about my life and the contents of what I'm about to share with the world through the internet (coming real soon, I promise!). Finding, or rather making, time for myself and my passions has proved itself to be a bit more of a difficult task than I thought--working full-time drains my days and it's much more easier to succumb to lethargy (shameful of me to say) once I set foot into my home. However, I've been pensive lately, writing lists and setting goals, both long and short term, and I've also been getting quite restless in my own skin as I'm seemingly watching the days go by.
My birthday passed a little over a week ago and I think it finally hit me that I'm nearing a quarter century. Twenty-four seems a little daunting, given where I thought I would be at this age and where I really am now. Before, this would be enough to send me spiraling down, but right now I'm at a place with myself where I understand that this is the ebb and flow of life. Things don't go according to plan, life happens the way it wants to and it's either I learn to adjust to its constant changes or I get left behind.
In retrospect, however, there are things I'm not proud of. Actions that weren't thought through, things I've said fueled by emotion, things I haven't said out of consideration.. Growing and maturing is a painstaking process, and it's hard having to constantly keep reminding yourself to move forward and on, to realize that you need to cut certain things and people out of your life in order to do so. Life's too short for you to worry about things and/or people who don't do anything for your own growth.
I'm not going to sit here and type out some profound entry on how gaining a year to my age has helped me figure shit out. I'm nowhere close to figuring my life out, or even myself at that. To be honest, thinking about what the future holds scares the fuck out of me. But I know what I'm going to work towards, I clearly see who I want to be by the next couple of years and I also know that I'm more than capable of rolling with whatever right hook or roundhouse kick life might have in store for me.
Right now, I'm thankful that I've lived to see another year. Right now, I thank the universe for granting me another breath to fill my lungs and I thank the sun and the moon and the stars for the strength I've found in myself, much thanks to the nights I've been through.