only a fool

those days were
blackened out
and your presence
was only felt through
good morning texts and
phone calls bidding
good nights.

where you were
was just a blur,
it didn't matter,
i didn't want to
wonder, to care.

i was left alone,
with newfound truths
and well-discovered
instances, left alone
with torturous thoughts
of your hands,
her hips,
her breasts,
your lips,
her bed and
the cold you left
in my own.

in those moments,
i swore you were
dead to me,
nothing but a
passing memory,
a lesson, proof of
how weak i can be.

in those moments,
your lies became
transparent,
and i a fool,
gullible and so
willing to forsake
my own reason for
a veneer of security
those three words
provided.

but those moments
of fleeting wisdom
were abolished
from my mind
as soon as
your name appeared
on the screen of my phone.