changes.

Written on November 17, 2009

Big changes, big changes occuring in my life right now.

Officially, as of today, I am no longer a prisoner of my father's household. I was told to leave the house on Sunday night, went over after school to pick up my stuff and unload it at Dobbs (nickname of the place I'm staying now) last night, and I woke up in my new home this morning. Crazy shit, right? Not really.

I always knew that it was going to come down to this, that the day I leave is the day that I never talk to my dad ever again. I knew that no matter how I left, I would always be on bad terms with my dad. Not that it bothers me too much; he was never really there for me in the first place, and I always held down my own from the day that I was legally allowed to work. I think I'm just more worried for my little brother and my mom the most. Otherwise, it just felt so natural waking up in this apartment.

However, it is a sudden move, no matter how you think about it. I'm just fortunate to have planned it out with Mia (my sister from another mister, foreal though, God bless her) in advance before the bomb was officially dropped.

I was actually supposed to move in next March, once I had everything figured out financially and such, and I was dead set on living with her.

I should probably start from the reason WHY I moved out.

My dad gave me an ultimatum, telling me that I either have to live by his rules, his way, and become the person he wants me to be (which is the one type of person I don'twant to be) or leave the house. And I, being the stubborn "I'm-going-to-stick-to-my-dreams" type of person I am, chose to leave. I guess my dad didn't really process the fact that I'm as stubborn as he is and didn't think that I'd really go. He seemed really shocked that I actually packed that Sunday night and came to pick all my stuff up.

Not that I care, but I'm just immersed in the sad humor of it all.

Ultimately, it was a move that I had to make, and was going to make anyway. I'm just really glad that I have supportive and caring friends all around me to help me through this shit, to really believe in me achieving my dreams.

I'm grateful for this change. It's not easy, but I'm intent on making this shit work. This is a prelude to the big FUCK YOU I'll be sending out to all you doubters out there.

-hannahrenee.