Tuesday, July 24, 2012

glory box

give me a reason to be a woman.

this is the beginning of forever and ever.

Monday, July 23, 2012


something's been brewing inside of me,
scribbling my thoughts and soaking me with doubt.
i'm repeating the same mistakes i kept making,
pushing when they pull, my cruelty resurfacing, all the while
regretting the harsh things i said and trying to come to terms with myself.

i feel too much,
and i feel nothing at all at the same time,
how does one deal with such contradiction?

all i know is that i'm staying away from alcohol,
for a while, at least until i've learned how to cope with
my current state of being.

but, i should also make clear that i'm okay,
i know i will be.. mostly thanks to him.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

you are greatly missed

i can't believe that today marks the second year that you were taken from us, my dear friend. it still feels like it was only yesterday when we were all hyped up to celebrate your birthday with you. you were taken from us way too soon, way too soon, and we were all so heartbroken and filled with shock and anger... to tell you the truth, i don't think i ever really recovered from that. i miss you everyday, and i miss hearing your voice through our countless aim conversations, i miss how you would always check up on me to see how i'm doing, if i'm doing okay. i miss how you would always have an open ear for my problems (i'll never forget how you said "that nigga loves you, he just don't know it yet" haha), how you'd come over to dobbs randomly, i miss all those nights we stayed awake having inebriated fun with the rest of the fam. i miss your laugh, your smile, i miss how you'd always rape my twitter feed with the funny ass cocky shit that went on in your mind, and i miss the yogurtland breakfasts we'd have the morning after being incredibly fucked up. I MISS YOU, lover, and though your time on this earth was cut short, you live in the hearts of all of us and we all know you're watching over. i still cry, when i think about that fateful day when i got the call that you passed on, though i know if you were here, you'd tell me to stop being such a girl, haha.

Friday, July 13, 2012


i find myself in this place again, unmoving and dull.
it's not so much that i'm comfortable--on the contrary,
i feel as if i'm a stranger in my own skin. things seems to
move forward and on with vigor, and i'm here like a ghost,
a flower on the wall, living inside myself, trying to make
sense of these clipped and scrambled thoughts in my head.

every day's a new breath,
yet i'm asphyxiated.
i feel too much and
i feel nothing.
i'm not
at all?

Monday, July 9, 2012

stranger in the mirror

do you know
what it feels like
to find your reflection
completely foreign?